In response to a friend’s recent inquiry about my well-being, I joked that I was in danger of getting whiplash from my mood swings. Joking aside, as we mark this milestone, maintaining balance can some days seem a Herculean task. But I persist. Following are some random views from my bunker.

FAILURES OF IMAGINATION

I’ve long believed that I lack imagination and cite my aborted efforts at fiction (none of which got past the plotting stage) as proof. Whether it’s that lack, or my tendency toward optimism, or just plain denial, here are some things I just didn’t see coming:

• That the CWP’s hard-won, long-awaited admission to college would have to wait another year

• That when I last kissed my lover goodbye it would be for six months and counting, with no end in sight

• That my dad would die before I ever got to kiss or hug him again (making those 2 driveway visits in July bittersweet)

• That I would be quarantined over 1400 miles away from his funeral

• That the impending collapse of civilization and his grandfather’s death would not encourage my son to end his estrangement from me

This is the hard part. The one-two punch of broken connections and unexpected change, particularly potent for one who believes human connection is the key to happiness and who has a few control issues. But there is always light.

BRAIN FOOD

With all these hours to fill within the walls of the mermaid cottage, which has already been purged and organized to within an inch of its life, my reading and viewing time has increased dramatically. I’ve even delved into the world of podcasts. While Friends and what I call “good trash” (well-written but essentially mindless fiction) are important for my (relative) mental health, I’ve managed to slip in some edutainment as well. Here are a few of the subjects I’ve sampled (if I can remember a few

random nuggets I’ll be happy):

• Ruth Bader Ginsburg

• Foreign policy

• NXIVM

• Home organization

• The perils of social media

• Sexual predators

• Secret societies

• Nazi war criminals

• Gender dysphoria

• Therapy and therapists

FLIGHTS OF FANCY

Since my post of 50 days ago, I have made one trip to the bank (where I had to weasel my way in because I didn’t have an appointment), three aimless car rides up and down A1A, and one zero-contact drive through Lion Country Safari. Through my reading, however, I’ve been traveling the world. A few of the places I’ve visited:

• Vietnam

• Palestine

• Pakistan

• Several small towns in North Carolina

• Several lovely villages not far from London

• Los Angeles

• Nice, France

• South Africa

• The Caribbean

• Appalachia

• Sri Lanka

• Mexico

• Japan

MATERIAL DISTRACTIONS

My monthly credit card bill has been more than halved without the restaurant, salon, and travel-related expenses that used to comprise the bulk of my spending. Following are some purchases that were strictly quarantine-induced:

• Dresses: long, short, midi, lounging (resulting from the perfect combination of boredom, hope, and the thought that I might feel better in something other than workout clothes)

• Dog clothing (being home with him all day revealed how often he is shivering, and they were pretty cute)

• Books (a necessity now that I’m no longer a library rat)

• Nail polish (since I have my own cosmetologist on the premises)

• Raspberry ketones fat burner (see Worries)

WORRIES

You meditate, exercise, and say some affirmations. You look on the bright side and search for the silver lining. You get plenty of sleep, eat right, and try to limit your alcohol intake. And still, some of those pesky anxieties sneak up on you:

• Will democracy and civility survive?

• Will changes in health care coverage laws lead to my financial ruin?

• Will the CWP get to go to college next year?

• Will I get to see my mom again?

• Will I lose the extra 10 pounds I’ve gained?

• Will the brain-eating amoebas come here next?

But there is always light. And the light wins.

GRACE NOTES

• The gorgeous silver Lab I befriended on my morning walks who patiently waits for me

• The certifiable Chihuahua that is teaching me patience and unconditional love

• My in-house piano player (also stylist, manicurist, entertainer, sage and best friend)

• The sudden transformation of my mother, who I’ve always had a difficult relationship with, into a warm and fuzzy lovebug

• The development of trust and friendship with the one person I previously had no time for: my deeply flawed but nonetheless badass self.

I would love to hear your stories: how you’re coping, what you’re doing that’s new, what is making you laugh?