Picking Up The Pieces

Thank God the story isn’t over because currently, if I can be frank, most of the stories in my life kinda suck. Each new plot line unfolded so insidiously that I didn’t realize I was on anxiety overload until I’d completed ten jigsaw puzzles in as many days. Big, difficult ones. Starting a new one just moments after disassembling the old.

Yes, I have a teeny problem with compulsion. Chips, wine, you name it: if a little is good, a lot is better, right? So here I am, my neck and shoulders in knots, my eyes bleeding, my house (and my to-do list) gathering dust. And while my reptile brain takes no prisoners (“Step away from those puzzles, loser. Deal with your shit”), my slightly more evolved self is a bit kinder (“Maybe this is a good thing for you, just too much”). Over the next several days I slowed it down a bit. And that’s when it struck me. Jigsaw puzzles can be a fabulous metaphor for life, and the skills required to solve them can be great tools for living mindfully in the present.

Empty out that box and look at the picture. It’s overwhelming, annoying, impossible. It’s tricky and tedious, and gratification is seriously delayed. And really, what is the point?

With patience and persistence, your mind opens and your perspective shifts. You learn to pay attention to detail. And when that becomes tiresome, you learn to pull focus and soften your gaze. You learn to try something different. And you learn to walk away for a while and return with new insight. All of which I need to remember as I navigate this next act in the pageant.

Because all that wasn’t enough to quell that gratuitously nasty reptilian voice (“you’re just blowing smoke, drip”), I googled “benefits of jigsaw puzzles”. And learned that I’m also improving my short-term memory, staving off all sorts of dementia, and making myself a desirable teammate. So here’s to a compulsion I can live with.