Take it from Me

A crucial part of my efforts to elude the proverbial black dog is my recent resolution to write every day without an end goal in mind. My notebook is quite a jumble: responses to writing prompts, lists (of course), further development of ideas once scribbled on scraps of paper and thrown into a file, and meandering attempts to process my feelings. These days, it feels so much more like play than work. Like I get to instead of have to. I love keeping this promise to myself.

Recently, I responded to a prompt asking what advice I’d give my younger self. Apparently, I’m a little bossy in that regard, so I’ll share only the top ten here:

Decenter men completely. You are not here as an adjunct. A man is not a plan, nor is one necessary to live a fulfilling life. Figure out who you are, what you like, where you want to be, and pursue that with passion. If a man arrives who seems like he might add value to the life you’re building, take time to really observe before making a commitment. And if you do, remember that you’re adding him to your life, not adopting his.

Sort yourself out! Girl, you need therapy. Lots of it. It’ll be brutal, but you’re up for the challenge. You’ll save yourself so much unnecessary heartbreak and strife.

Exercise more and drink less. You’re not always going to look like this. And some vigorous exercise would burn off some of that energy that leads to novelty seeking. Like doing shots of tequila with strangers and dancing on the bar all night long. You’re not always going to bounce back from those nights either.

Buy experiences instead of things. Don’t listen to the siren song of consumerism. You’re not going to remember all the crap you mindlessly bought because it was on sale, or popular, or promised to fix you. You will remember outings with loved ones, or cultural attractions, or trips you took.

Give yourself some credit. Ease up on the perfectionism and take a little time to acknowledge (at least to yourself) your accomplishments and your positive qualities.

Listen, but watch. Remember that actions speak louder than words. And that you should be aware of this in living your life as well as in observing others.

Be brave. Take the risk, speak the truth, do the hard thing. Don’t wait until you’re old enough to realize that it’s scarier not to live fully.

Laugh more. Don’t take everything so seriously. You can be a thoughtful person without doing so.

Be here now. Forget about reliving the past or worrying about the future. It’s hard to do, but try to live in the present. With gratitude.

Love wisely and hard. This is not a dress rehearsal. It’s your one wild and precious life. Go for it. You’ll be so glad.

Please share. What advice would you give your younger self?

Ways I Found Joy This Week

Sharing resonant messages from others’ writings with beloveds

Rejoining the world after languishing with tonsillitis all weekend

Listening to my windchime tinkle in a rare breeze and feeling the breeze briefly on my skin

Receiving a few fun magnets for my refrigerator

Initiating another round of side-splitting laughter with my hearing-impaired interpretation of the CWP’s talking point

Getting back to yoga class after a hiatus

Things I Learned This Week

A bit about the history and culture of Iran

A bit about drawing and painting techniques and art history

That my hearing-impaired interpretations of others’ speech are a window into the state of my mind these days (mostly whimsical, leaning toward bizarre)

Quotes That Resonated This Week

No more apologies for a bleeding heart when the opposite is no heart at all.

Toni Morrison

Art evokes the mystery without which the world would not exist.

Rene Magritte

What I Watched This Week

Five Star Weekend (Peacock). Elin Hildebrand’s work, in my opinion, is even better adapted to the screen. This was an outstanding escape, noteworthy for the gorgeous views of Nantucket and the food porn alone. On top of that, we got a great cast and the type of mess that made The Perfect Couple so fun. Highly bingeable.

While sprawled on the couch fighting infection, I binged two documentary series that were recommended on social media:

The Many Lives of Benjaman Kyle (HBO). A man is found behind a Burger King in Georgia with no identification or idea of who he is. Ten years later, no progress has been made in identifying him and documentarians get involved. Which is when the man’s story begins to unravel. Riveting. Also frightening and partly unresolved.

The Yogurt Shop Murders (HBO). This was originally a four-part series, aired in August of 2025, about a 1991 murder of four young girls that rattled Austin, Texas. Just one month later, the cold case detective assigned definitively solved the case, and a fifth episode was released this year. Absorbing  look at the long-lasting collective trauma and its ripple effects, the phenomenon of false confession, and the advances in technology that finally led to a resolution. It’s easy to see why the series was nominated for two Emmys this year.

Ru Paul’s Drag Race All Stars (Paramount+). An amazing finale that came down to my two favorites. Breathtaking talent.

The Vampire Lestat (Prime). A very trippy finale, with a bit of gore that I could have done without. Overall, liked the first season better.

DTF St. Louis (HBO Max). There’s so much to love about this series. It’s a dark comedy and a murder mystery with some very poignant takes on friendship, love, sex, and mid-life angst. Incredible cast.

The Long Walk (HBO Max). This 2025 adaptation of Stephen King’s dystopian novel was so well done. Difficult themes, well-developed characters, great cinematography, and an overall message of persistence and hope (so timely) made this a powerful watch.

What I Read This Week

The Lion Women of Tehran, by Marjan Kamali. Ellie (Elaheh) and Homa meet at seven years old in the slums of Tehran in the 1950s, and this historical novel follows them through seventy years during which their differing economic and political status separates them more than once. I loved learning more about the history and culture of Iran while being transported by an at times heartbreaking but ultimately hopeful story.

Contrapposto, by Dave Eggers. This big, beautiful novel is a feast of art and ideas. Follows the life of Cricket, and his muse Olivia, from childhood through old age, through various incarnations and across continents. Includes sketches that are a part of the story. Unique and thought-provoking.

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Thanks for reading!