Beyond Protein and Pilates

A big part of my daily life of late has been making an effort to stave off the negative effects of aging. Ironically, this is one endeavor in which I’ve concentrated almost exclusively on my body and paid less attention to my mind (I talked about my tendency to do the opposite here). Good nutrition, adequate rest, and movement (mostly ignored in my previous incarnation) have gone a long way towards my goal of optimizing my performance in this last act. Now that those have become second nature, increasing my flexibility, strength, and balance has become my primary goal. In yet another epiphany (that’s the great thing about being a late bloomer; they just keep on coming), it’s dawning on me that if I want to avoid aging ungracefully, I can’t ignore one half of the mind-body equation.

I can eat good food, drink plenty of water, and cut down on alcohol, but if I take in empty mental calories in the form of doom scrolling or zoning out in front of trash TV, I’m unwittingly sabotaging my quest to keep my brain healthy and my outlook positive. I can sleep eight hours and take the occasional power nap, but if my inner demons are constantly driving me to do more and be more and think more, I’m going to burn out. I can move my body and get those steps in, but if I don’t exercise my brain by challenging it or by introducing new ideas, my cognition will ultimately deteriorate.

Nowhere is the need to tend to both body and mind more apparent than in my quest to increase my flexibility, strength, and balance. I’ve got the physical part covered with my increased protein intake and my whole-hearted embrace of Pilates; I’ve been doing a (sometimes brutal, always gratifying) one-hour session every four or five days and am beginning to see progress. Flexibility training for my mind is going to be crucial in battling the mental calcification that sometimes rears its ugly head as we age. Although late to the party, I’ve made some headway in transitioning from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, and I’m determined to continue on that path. Healing and learning to regulate my emotions has contributed immensely to my mental strength (which I previously defined as basically grinning and bearing it, however traumatic or outrageous), and I hope to keep learning and growing in that regard as well. Balance may be the greatest challenge yet as I continue to transition away from black-or-white thinking, from all or nothing commitments, from overcorrection.

So what’s the plan?

For the mental flexibility necessary for a growth mindset, I’m going to try to incorporate more of these science-backed approaches (something new for the daydreamer who immediately shut down at the mere mention of science):

1.      Changing routines. I’m going to try to change my routine, in large and small ways, often. Sure, a routine is comforting and can ensure you get stuff done, but autopilot doesn’t expand those synapses. So I can choose a different route for my walks, write in different locations, vary the times and types of my workouts. The possibilities are endless. I’m admittedly a novice, but the key seems to me to be mindfulness. Pausing just long enough to ask myself what might work next.

2.      Creative thinking. I’m going to make an effort to apply this in all areas of my life versus only in my writing. Creative problem solving and looking at all aspects of an issue are top of my list.

3.      Taming anxiety. It’s impossible to be consider all possibilities when my lizard brain is screaming at me that I’m in danger and need to react IMMEDIATELY. Now that I’m able to recognize my anxiety, I can use the tools I’ve gathered over the last several years to manage it.

4.      Meeting new people. This one is difficult for me as these days I’m really relishing my solitude. I’m also finding that I’m fairly resistant to “joining”, which is arguably where I’d meet people. Until I find an outlet that calls to me, I’m going to focus on interacting a bit more with the people I encounter in my daily rounds in hopes of being exposed to new ideas.

5.      Being a Luddite. I’ve always been a late adopter of technology (for most of my twenties I didn’t even own a television), so this one is easy for me. Turns out that things like balancing your checkbook and reading a paper map are actually good for your brain health.

6.      Novelty. I’ve talked about filling the well before. Travel, learning a language, trying a new food; again, endless possibilities.

7.      Humor. Finding the humor in a situation will eventually result in a quick wit, which is a hallmark of cognitive flexibility.

Interestingly, experts cite a growth mindset as a significant contributor to mental strength (don’t you love how it’s all connected?). Here are a few other things that help:

1.      Self-awareness. I believe that there’s always something new to learn about yourself. When you know who you are and why you think, feel, and act the way you do, and you can accept your imperfection, there’s no need for the mental gymnastics to avoid shame, denial, resentment, or any other maladaptive behaviors that deplete your mental energy.

2.      Positive thinking. Which is different than denial (as in my Pollyanna days, for example) or toxic positivity (as when I’m told that my chronically ill daughter just needs to pray or get more fresh air and she’ll be fine). I’m going for thoughts that are realistic with a positive twist. I’m going for “what if it works out?” Related to this is not complaining. It’s shocking how often we reflexively complain, either to others or ourselves (especially if you were basically trained to), and I’m trying to be more aware of this and to reverse it.

3.      Choosing love. Particularly, choosing the loving interpretation of situations. Assuming the best intentions of others.

4.      Meditation. We’ve all heard how meditation can increase mental clarity and focus (and I credit it with huge leaps forward in those areas for me). I believe it also fosters an increase in mental strength, just as a daily workout routine increases physical strength. And there’s nothing like the confidence of having this portable tool with you at all times.

To work toward mental and emotional balance:

1.      Assorting and prioritizing. There are things I have to do, whether I’m excited about them or not (like paying my bills, going to the doctor, filing my taxes), and things I want to do (like writing, connecting with friends, traveling). And there are things I think I should do, or maybe that other people want me to do. Clearly articulating which activities fall into the first two categories and eliminating most things that fall into the third category allows me to prioritize and eliminates overwhelm, resentment, and burnout.

2.      Letting go. Trying to let go of control will be something I’ll be working on for the remainder of my time on the planet. The longer I work at it, the more I see that it’s that quest for the impossible that most reliably sends me off the rails. That wins me gold medals in crazy inflexibility.

3.      Taking the long view. These days I trust myself enough to ease up on the rigidity of the daily routines I devised once I identified my priorities. Now I may spend an entire day writing. Or reading. Or hanging with a friend, or the CWP. I may spend an entire day without a plan, wandering from one compelling activity to the next. I’m now more confident that, as long as I get to what matters over time, it’ll all balance out.

4.      Pausing. Taking a minute to inhale before acting (or reacting) is one of my favorite tools acquired as I healed and grew up. It’s kept me on an even keel more times than I can count.

Lately I’ve noticed myself occasionally becoming frustrated or anxious in challenging situations that I once would have sailed through. Rather than accepting this as a normal part of aging, I’m determined to work on counteracting those tendencies. Instead of contracting, I want to expand as I age. And that’s going to take more than extra protein and Pilates.

***

Thanks for reading. Are you concerned about some potential negative effects of aging? Any tips or tricks to share?

GOOD STUFF

Puppy yoga. The CWP took me to a yoga class where a litter of goldendoodle puppies were meandering among us. Some people waited until class was over to play with them; I was pretty much a goner from the jump.

Book cover. Beyond thrilled to be working on a cover for my upcoming book with a genius who is also fabulous at reminding me that I can do this.