Peace Process

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating (because, apparently, I need periodic reminders): when you’ve lived the majority of your life with your hair on fire, awash in cortisol because the proverbial bear is chasing you, calm, when you finally attain it, can sometimes feel like boredom. Despite my embrace of and gratitude for my new life, the last couple of years provided me with some of that old “excitement” (also known as minor trauma): loss, serious injury, family drama, the near-death of my fur baby, among other things.

And maybe that inadvertently reignited the part of my nervous system that felt alive in constant battle. Because now that I seem to be in a period of relative stability (which these days I know is both transitory and not an entitlement) I find myself wondering if I’m a little bored. Yes, I keep myself moving and entertained, but where’s the wildness and unpredictability? Where are the outrageous tales with which to entertain others?

And then I remember. This is normal (or as close to normal as I’m ever going to get). A quiet life full of small joys and curiosities over which I’m sovereign. A small but strong inner circle. This is peace. May we all find and cherish it.

Ways I Found Joy This Week

Surprising a friend with his favorite treats on his birthday

Walking to the Dollar Store on a sunny afternoon to replenish my stash of jigsaw puzzles

Watching the CWP and the menace frolic and snuggle on the couch as if they were litter mates

Finding several new books on my to-be-read list at the library

Catching up with a friend while running errands together

Finding a pair of jeans that I love and that don’t feel like I’m being attacked by an anaconda

Things I Learned This Week

About “cracking and packing”, the two main tactics of gerrymandering

About the existence of the toucanet (I’m smitten)

That my daughter is a knitting savant and my dog is a wannabe fashion model

Quotes That Resonated This Week

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

Anais Nin

Travel breaks the illusion that your current life is the only one possible.

Unknown

What I Watched This Week

The Pitt (Hulu). A banger of a finale: incredible acting, showcasing of current issues in health care, and beautifully human (flawed and interesting) characters. Can’t wait for Season 3.

Will Trent (Hulu). A major surprise as the season finale approaches. Betty still stylin’.

High Potential (Hulu). Enjoying the evolving relationship between Morgan and her partner, and the art heist episodes were especially good.

Noah Kahan: Out of Body (Netflix). Love his music and lyrics, and loved this documentary in which he honestly shares his struggles with body dysmorphia, depression, and celebrity. I found his vulnerability and lack of artifice uncommon, and his Busyhead Project (a charity providing mental health services in underserved rural areas) admirable.

Beef (Netflix). Wow. Season 2 may be even better than Season 1 (or is it just that I have a thing for Oscar Isaac?) The social commentary is wicked and the twists are propulsive. Class wars go to the country club.

The Feminist in Cellblock Y (YouTube). This documentary was filmed at Soledad Prison. It follows an inmate-led group that uses feminist literature (mostly bell hooks) to challenge men to confront patriarchy as the major influence in the choices that led to their incarceration. The courage and honesty of these men as they discuss their lives is amazing.

What I Read This Week

This Is Not About Us, by Allegra Goodman. Nothing much happens in this novel that traces an extended family through several years of change and growth (and some estrangement), but it is all so keenly observed that I kept turning the pages.

Signal Fires, by Dani Shapiro. An examination of two neighboring families, the way their lives have intertwined over the years, and the ripple effects of their former choices.

And still hanging in there with Wuthering Heights (took my turn at reading aloud when allergies got the better of the CWP’s voice) and The Indifferent Stars Above (going even slower as the tragedy unfolds; this week was gratified to learn that, according to all involved, the women pretty much left the men in the dust as far as leadership and fortitude were concerned.)

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Thanks for reading!