Resisting

A week in which I doubled down on my resolution to resist despair. As the weeks wear on and the atrocities continue, I’m finding it increasingly difficult not to worry or lose hope. Not to wake up saying “it’s going to be a great day” but thinking “oh, fuck”. So I’m ramping up my efforts to accentuate the minor joys and tiny rays of light in my world. It feels pretty insignificant, but it’s the best I can do right now.

Ways I Found Joy This Week

Spontaneously stopping at a Japanese restaurant for an outdoor happy hour on my way home from errands, enjoying the perfect weather while noshing and starting a new book

Having a woman lower her window as she drove by to tell me my hair was beautiful

Listening to the rain while snuggled up inside under a blanket with my companion and a book

Wandering through an outdoor fine art show

Seeing photographs of the massive turnout for No Kings Protests throughout the country and the world

Cooking my signature meatballs and sauce while my four-legged assistant “helped”

Being treated by the CWP to a weekday matinee at the luxury movie theater

Completing a bunch of minor home improvements with the help of my amazing handyman

Catching up with a friend as we sampled happy hours and people watched on the Avenue

Things I Learned This Week

That, most times, just starting the thing you’re feeling resistant toward (the task, the workout, the project, the conversation) will make you feel better

That more than 87 public libraries and archives in Gaza have been destroyed in Israel’s genocide

That Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales contains the first documented link between April 1^st and foolishness

That I’ll (hopefully) continue growing until I shuffle off this mortal coil, but I’ll never not be extremely sensitive

Quotes That Resonated This Week

Write from the scars, not the wounds.

Anonymous

Grief does not change you, it reveals you.

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

…uncertainty is not an interruption. It’s a condition of being alive.

Suleika Jaouad

What I Watched This Week

High Potential (Hulu). In addition to her irrepressible character, I also get a kick out of Morgan’s bordering-on-bizarre wardrobe.

The Pitt (Hulu). Decided to see what all the buzz was about and got pulled right in. Could do without the closeups of medical procedures but really like the examination of humanity with a sprinkling of current issues affecting healthcare. Great, diverse cast.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Hulu). I was living overseas when this came out and missed it until now. Trippy and fun and sweet.

Project Hail Mary. Her invitation started with “I know you’re not a sci-fi fan, but…”, and the CWP was so right. This movie is so much more than that; it’s heartwarming and funny and hopeful and just what we need right now. That’s all you need to know.

What I Read This Week

The Frozen River, by Ariel Lawhon. A historical novel with a murder mystery at its center, this is a beautifully atmospheric portrait of life in mid-eighteenth-century New England. At the center of it all is a quietly fierce midwife, whose character is based on a real person. Between this book and The

Indifferent Stars Above, I’ve reached a new appreciation for the comforts we take for granted: I’m quite certain that the need to either row across a river or walk across its ice to perform most tasks would have finished me off quickly.

Half His Age, by Jennette McCurdy. When a book gets such mixed reviews, I have to check it out. Yes, it’s been done before: teenager becomes romantically involved with her old-enough-to-know better teacher; not anyone’s favorite subject matter. Personally, I found the author’s incisive portrayal of the effects of parental neglect and our cultural norms on the obsessive search for love unerringly on target. It seems to me that the criticisms of flat characters or indulgence of the Lolita trope reveal a privilege held by those brought up in Leave it to Beaver blissful ignorance.

The Indifferent Stars Above: The Harrowing Saga of a Donner Party Bride, by Daniel James Brown. I’ve barely begun this book, but I already love the author’s voice; even in relaying background information he’s telling me a story that I’m eager to follow.

Ending the week with two British entries, always a treat:

Don’t Let Him In, by Lisa Jewell. You know who the bad guy is from the start; you just don’t know how far he will go or if he’ll get his just desserts. Very readable but no twists that I’ve come to expect.

A Family Matter, by Claire Lynch. A quiet story of a forbidden love affair and its ripples into the lives of those involved forty years later.

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Thanks for reading!